We hold these truths to be self-evident: There are no such things as facts, only points-of-view. All political parties lie. All politicians are untrustworthy. Global warming may be a hoax.*1 Entitlements must be curtailed.*2 Taxes are too high because of the spendthrift Democrats in Washington.* 3 Obama just may be a socialist.*4 Obama hasn't improved the economic mess.*5 Obama has indebted the United States of America more than any other US President.*6 Newt Gingrich may be scary with a serious case of megalomania, ethics and fidelity issues, but he's a fighter. Mitt Romney, though unemployed, receives $57,000 a DAY from the returns on his vast wealth thus proving his worth as a businessman. Ron Paul sounds about right*7 though everyone says he's crazy. Rick Santorum is running for pope.
Whereas for the above stated reasons, we cannot make up our minds as to whom to vote for, despite the overwhelming evidence that the GW Bush Administration's funding of two wars off the books (thereby boosting the GDP numbers even as it kept such costs out of the federal budget) and its deregulation efforts on behalf of the financial sector seems to have caused the dire economic conditions to have befallen the United States, and seeing as we Independents now constitute the swing block vote for the next election, we declare ourselves more pure than the political parties and their adherents because—based upon the self-truths mentioned —there can be no objective reality upon which we can judge the worthiness and truthfulness of the candidates' claims, we therefore now proclaim our indecision is in keeping with our nation's fine conservative heritage.
Therefore, we, the Independent voters of America here-by swear that we won't be swayed by anything other than our intuition, our "gut" if you will. Seeing as we're not willing to parse the data/facts, crunch the numbers, investigate the claims of malfeasance and outright criminality of the Republicans, or of Obama's alleged socialistic doxology, nor are we willing to slog our way through the ample information on the internet (like those numbers from the Congressional Budget Office, the US Treasury, the Office of Management and Budget clearly indicating that Republican Administrations over the past thirty years have drastically increased the national debt) preferring to simply listen to both sides—Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Republican Presidential candidates etc and our local TV news channels –and, unable to separate fact from fiction, await some sign as to whom to vote for.
Furthermore, seeing as we can't, because of its progressive nature, believe the media,*8 nor can we believe our leaders because one side says this and the other side says that or because when we want simple answers we get too many facts which, like flies, spoil the soup.
Be it so resolved that we, the Independent voters of America, will decide at the last possible moment whether the Republicans or Democrats will control the Senate and Congress and whether or not a Republican will replace the possible foreign born Muslim Socialist President Obama this election so that America might once again be piloted by those that guided our Ship of State onto the shoals of diminished dreams and impoverishment.
*1 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly, even though the science clearly indicates that climate change is upon us and closing in on an irreversible "tipping point" from which Earth cannot recover.
*2 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly, though many Independents do not think of Social Security, Medicare, Disability, etc as entitlements like the Republican Presidential candidates do.
*3 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly, even though the Obama Administration has lowered taxes.
*4 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly presumably due to the fact that Obama calls on taxing the top percent just 3.25 percent more than they're currently being taxed and this constitutes "redistribution of wealth" leaving aside the fact that trillions of dollars have been transferred from the middle class to the top one percent over the past thirty years via corporate and high-income tax rates being slashed.
*5 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly, even though there's been economic growth for 15 straight months, private sector jobs have been added to the economy for 21 straight months and unemployment has been reduced by 15 percent; not to mention the financial crisis that blew up the economy happened precisely because Republicans legislated (even as they still hope to pass more) deregulation and opted for a laissez faire policy as regards the financial markets allowing for a casino style approach using taxpayers' money as collateral.
*6 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly even though the documented facts/numbers prove that the GW Bush Administration took possession of a $5-plus TRILLION surplus upon taking office and left a $10 TRILLION debt load upon leaving office; Obama's share of the national debt? Still under $2 TRILLION primarily for the stimulus package and rescuing the auto industry thereby preserving millions of jobs.
*7 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said so repeatedly (if not en masse) especially his desire to rid the United States of the Federal Reserve, the non-governmental institution charged with keeping a rein on inflation; coupled with returning to the Gold Standard even though doing so would instantly cause inflation as there is but a limited, finite reserve of gold (it's called supply and demand) even as a return to the gold standard would force much of the world into default vis-à-vis debt load repayment as they have little reserves of gold (not to mention Ron Paul's promise to lower taxes to "as close to zero as possible" leaving thinking people to wonder: "What about funding for Education? Interstate highways? Airports? Mass transit? Infrastructure like dams and other flood control functions, electrification, overseeing the national endowments like parks, monuments, etc? What about the cost of defense? Law and order?" Left to wonder because Ron Paul is silent on all of that unless you understand his plan is to downsize government until it withers and dies).
*8 Independents know this to be true because Republicans have said repeatedly that the media is leftist and all about "gotcha" sensationalism passing for journalism, even though this usually spews from the likes of Palin, Bachmann, Limbaugh, Coulter, etc after they've been shown to be what they are (mindless cheerleaders for the Neoliberal few vs many paradigm).
